Pelita hidup kami

Wan Chempaka Maisarah

Lebih sebulan lalu, tanggal 18 May 2009, kandungan isteriku mula menunjukkan tanda-tanda menerima kelahiran..aiks, kenapa macam skrip rancangan t.v? Okay, put it in daily tune. Kalau ada yang tertanya-tanya kenapa dah lama aku (kami) tak jenguk 'castle' ni, inilah jawapannya.

Sepanjang sebulan yang berlalu ni, kami sibuk (atau aku je yang busy?). why? Because the baby is in the house!! Yup, on 18thy may 2009, at 4:15 pm, wife aku telah selamat melahirkan anak kami melalui kaedah ceasarian delivery (kena bedah la). Sehari sebelum tu, my wife ditahan di wad pemerhatian sebab ada bleeding dan tanda-tanda nak bersalin walaupun kandungan baru masuk minggu ke 33 ( kalau 36 minggu dan ke atas, dah kira selamat).

The doctor tried to reduce the pain with 'turqolise' (is it the correct spelling?) but my wife was allergic to that drug. So, untuk menyelamatkan salah satu nyawa, the doc buat keputusan untuk menjalankan pembedahan ceasarian. Alhamdulillah, kedua-duanya dapat diselamatkan. Thus, lahirlah WAN CHEMPAKA MAISARAH, anak perempuan sulungku..that's why aku busy, kena uruskan banyak hal. tambah pula dengan bebanan kerja..tapi aku happy!

Tak kisahlah

aku tak kisah kalau esok
aku dicaci
kerana semalam aku tak minta dipuji

aku tak kisah kalau esok
orang langsung tak kenal aku
sebab semalam aku pun bukan orang ternama

aku tak kisah kalau esok
aku hanya sehelai sepinggang
lagipun semalam apa yang aku ada?

aku ini seorang“pengunjung”
bila aku balik ke “rumah” nanti,
aku bawa balik dosa dan pahala.

Jiwa Paradoks

I will not dance to your war drum

I will not lend my soul nor my bones to your war drum

I will not dance to your beat

I know that beat

It is lifeless

I know intimately that skin you are beating

It was alive once

hunted

stolen

stretched

I will not dance to your drummed up war
I will not pop spin beak for you
I will not hate for you or even hate you
I will not kill for you or even kill you
I will not die for you
I will not mourn the dead with murder nor suicide
I will not side with you nor dance to bombs because everyone else is dancing

Everyone can be wrong
Life is a right not collateral or casual
I will not forget where I come from
I will craft my own drum
Gather my beloved near and our chanting will be dancing
Our humming will be drumming
I will not be played
I will not lend my name nor my rhythm to your beat
I will dance and resist and dance and persist and dance
This heart beat is louder than death
Your war drum ain’t louder than this breath.

Placenta Praevia

Last few days were the most tiring days of my life. I had to “manage” our house alone because my wife was not with me. She was in the observation ward due to the occurrence of placenta praevia in her pregnancy. What is placenta praevia? Placenta praevia (placenta previa AE) is an obstetric complication in which the placenta is attached to the uterine wall close to or covering the cervix. It can sometimes occur in the later part of the first trimester, but usually during the second or third. It is a leading cause of antepartum haemorrhage (vaginal bleeding). It affects approximately 0.5% of all labours.
The treatment? Caesarean delivery. But I still hope that my wife can has normal delivery. Let us pray for that.

lelaki or perempuan?

"A baby girl...

one of the most beautiful miracles in life,

one of the greatest joys we can ever know,

and one of the reasons why

there is a little extra sunshine,

laughter and happiness

in your world today.."

This afternoon, we went to see the doctor for routine check-up. then, my wife decided to ask the doctor to scan our baby's sex.

"Lelaki ke perempuan?" i asked that question to myself.

"Lelaki ke perempuan, doc?" my wife asked the doctor.

"Sekejap, ye. Tengok tu, muka dia..comel..hidung mancung" said the doctor

"Oh..come on, doc. That's my baby. Memang la comel sebab aku kan handsome. masa aku kecik dulu pun comel jugak. Just scan and look for it's @#!*. I want to know..boy or girl" the sweeping generalisation only playing in mind. I have to behave! :) i looked at the doctor's face and gave her a smile.

"Lelaki ke perempuan?"

"Sekejap. ye..hmm, see that? it's a girl"

yeah, it's a girl..my sweet baby girl!! The Almighty has answered my prayers..Alhamdulillah..Alhamdulillah..Alhamdulillah..

aku?

"bila sampai
detik waktuku
aku mahu tak seorang pun merayu
tidak juga kau
dengan tangis dan sendu

aku inikan binatang sundal
dari marga terbuang
biar apa pun yang menembusi kulitku
atau sayatkan luka baru di atas luka lama
aku akan terus begini
di sini

luka dan pedih
akan ku bawa menari
berlari
hingga hilang pedih
dan segala ngeri

kerana aku ingin hidup seribu tahun lagi
tanpa peduli
tanpa prejudis"

..i don't know why, because, lately i've been drowned by myself..in the ocean of my thought..